Minutes ago I was editing images to submit to a client. And now seconds ago my heart was warmed by a kind of love people spend lifetimes searching for.
While I've been working, my Spotify has been crooning melodies to me, helping keep me focused and my heart full as I edit away. Some of these tunes that have come along to breath life into my soul have been worship based, ones that make the heart still quieter. One such song came on, so full of life was it that I had to call my love in to listen with me, to kneel our spirits before the King and hear Him whisper within the subtle power of the music.
Today was Mr. Abear's first day home from a week long business trip; and as I've been working most of today he's been loving on our two babes, playing with them and showing them the many misses his heart felt for each day passed. He came with both little ones and sat, savoring the words with me. During the song my love turned to our baby girl and asked her to show him some of her ballet - to dance for us. He then proceeded to dance with her, in his own larger than life way he moved delicate and turned - spinning, showing her something for her to emulate. He then got down on his knees and tenderly took her, asking her to dance with him.
He looked at her softly and said, "You are my daughter, Ella."
It doesn't matter whether we've had good parents or bad parents. It doesn't matter if we've been loved well by another human, we all have this insatiable desire to be desirable. We are all spinning, clumsily at first, searching for Someone to show us that we are wanted enough to be shown how to do it well. And there is joy, oh! so much joy in the learning. We have this Heavenly Dad, One Who never has to leave on business trips, because we are His prized work. He never has something else on His mind, because His mind is holding together 7 billion beings by the very unfailing thought and breath of His lungs and He is still available.
Have you wanted to be lovely? To spin soft, to be held tenderly and told that you were a wanted child? Have you ever wanted someone to pursue you with such determination that hell itself would shudder at the love spent? To be sought after because you, even though you have shown every kind of ugliness and unworthiness were still desirable? Even though I am generally secure in the eternal love credited for my soul, every time I have ever acted out with selfishness, jealousy, or any form of control, it has shown my doubt for that love. But still - He kneels down and tells me to reach out, to hold on tight. He shows me how to do this life well. He gives me a better way. God alone has the power to make me a beloved daughter. He sways the lilies of the field with a sigh and exhales, "Tamara, you are my daughter."
Brothers and Sisters, you are wanted. You were bought with a price, it's never too late to humble yourself and take hold of the holy embrace. Receive the grace that has been given through toil, tears, blood and water. Receive that love, because it brings freedom. That grace, friends, is all-fulfilling.
Here I sit in the beginning of the year wanting to run well, lose weight, eat healthy... I want more of this life. But what happens next? I become everything I desire... and then what? I pass along and my name becomes a vapor only a few generations down.
No beloved, I run because I want to run the race well. I want to be healthy to love my children, to show them God in me. I want to be more so that I can give more, because I am gratefully indebted - something I never could've understood a few years ago.
And so I sit, blessed because I am a daughter of The Living God. I am apart of this two fold dance, one that finds me a clumsy participant, but also shown a better way. Stop for a moment, listen to the Good News that sings sweetly a sound of hope and embrace the One who has already knelt from Heaven to earth to call you His own.
